The Talk

I just had the conversation with the fella, I mean my spouse, about the mess we are in. I’ve been the one sitting down to pay the bills for twenty years and he hardly ever asks questions about our situation. So I bear the responsibility and the guilt and the shame about the mess we’re in.


So, hey, by the way, I need to tell you where we are, my dear. He puts his head in his hands and demands, “What?” Well, I respond, we’ve got a mortgage of $424,710; a home equity loan of $61,279;  auto loans of $35,000; parent loans of $24,000; and oh, um, credit cards of $93,403, for a total of about $636,000 in debt.

You can imagine how well that went.

Then there were rounds of recrimination and blaming and I said, okay, I made a lot of mistakes but I’d like us to decide together going forward what to do next. And did I mention that I already knocked the credit card debt down from $107k?

Anyway, I am tired. I have had enough of shouldering the guilt and all the decisions. We are in this together, down to every detail about what food we’re going to buy. I’m tired of being blamed for making beans that no one wants to eat. Let’s decide together what we want to eat and what we’re going to buy, what debts we’re going to pay off first, what we’re going to give up. What we are going to do.

This wasn’t easy. But I’m glad it’s all out there so we can pull together, together.