Dear Blog…

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I am trying so hard but not trying so hard. I confess that today I bought a bottle of 12-year-old Macallan whiskey, a deal compared to the 18-year-old. Even I am not going to chuckle at that. It seemed so necessary! After all, I can’t go shopping for new clothes so the only way I’m going to get any different clothes is to drop a pant size so I can wear all those other clothes hanging in my closet that I bought knowing full well that they didn’t fit but maybe they would — and they’d be so fabulous — when I lost five pounds. So now I am trying to lose those five (ahem, maybe fifteen) pounds to get into all those fabulous clothes in my closet. I’m doing keto, that is, scant carb, so Macallan at zero carbs is perfect.

This, dear blog, is how one rationalizes things when one is off one’s rocker. It really does seem like I need that Macallan since wine, however cheap, racks up the carbs. Maybe that bottle will cost less per night than wine does. Maybe, maybe not. The point though is that I am losing my resolve. I just spent 62 bucks on a bottle of booze that could have fed my family for nearly a week. No wonder that the credit card debt keeps hovering at the same place.

Still, the one good part of this is that I am putting this all on my debit card, not a bit on credit. The piper has to pipe right now and not pay later. So that’s a very good thing.

But still I need to stop rationalizing away my insanity.


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